It was May 2015. I found out I was having a baby, I couldnt believe it after eight miscarriges, I was so over the moon! I went to all my scans and it was at my third scan they picked up on something. I thought oh no, they started to do tests and other scans and I got asked to wait to see a consultant. Well, this Consultant came in, looked at me and said “Miss Holmes, have you ever heard of a condition called Holoprosencephaly?” “No” I replied. He started talking about all these different things about what it is and I couldn’t take it all in, as the doctor went on all I heard was my baby might die, she may not survive or even last wight weeks. I was advised to end my pregnancy which I decided against, instead I went home and started to do my research, learning about what the life span of my baby could be.
I continued on with my pregnancy, I couldn’t wait to welcome my bundle of joy into the world and I found out I was having a little girl.
At about six months pregnant I had to plan my birth and decide what I wanted intervention I wanted the doctors to give. I asked them, if my baby needs assistance to breath etc. then please help in anyway.
After an induction labour, Kelsie was born on 25th February 2016 at 4.45am weighing 6lb 7oz, oh my god, she was beautiful! Kelsie had Holoprosencephaly and a cleft lip and pallet. She was just a little bundle of cuteness, I couldn’t wait to take her home.
Kelsie had to have an ng tube inserted for her feeds and I had training on how to manage it myself. At about three months old I found out Kelsie was having seizures, she had to be admitted to hospital for tests, where we stayed for good few weeks. When we went home we had lots of medications and I went through epilepsy training. I must admit, at first i was scared to take Kelsie out because of her seizures, but in the end that didn’t stop us.
As time went on I found out Kelsie also had a heart condition which meant more tests and stays in hospital. She was under the care of St Thomas Hospital, Lewisham, and Great Ormand Street, the doctors were good. When Kelsies seizures got bad we also spent five weeks in hospital.
As time went on we had lots of hurdles with Kelsie but also lots of lovely, amazing memories too. We took trips to the seaside, parks and lots of other things. We started going to sensory classes and play groups all for children with complex needs. It was nice talking with other parents so you felt you were not going through it alone because some days it could be tough.
Kelsie brought me great joy, made me cry, made me laugh and made me smile. I say she was my miracle baby and I would not have changed anything with her, she was such a joy in my life and so precious.
On 10th January 2018 Kelsie gained her wings, her seizures got too bad and put pressure on her heart, she also got sepsis.
My life now feels so empty without Kelsie in it and
still three years on its hard. I miss her every day. I spend time at her graveside talking to her and playing her favourite songs. Kelsie is always in my heart and thoughts. I feel so lucky to have been blessed with my beautiful girl for 22 months, she is now my beautiful angel Kelsie.